i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
