If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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