For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
