This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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