Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
