We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
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