okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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