In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
