I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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