sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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