make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize