Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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