She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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