ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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