In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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