Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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