Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
