I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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