I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
