Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
