I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
