Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
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