Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
