I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
