Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
PANTIES FOUND
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