Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
