So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
