So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Randomize