I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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