and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
