i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
