Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
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