She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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