I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
only you would photoshop your dick
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
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