I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize