you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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