btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
