Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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