oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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