I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
