This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
