you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
