so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
