remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
