We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
