sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Randomize
