Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
