i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Randomize
