yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
We had to coat check the pizza.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Randomize