we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize