I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize