i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
