Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
