Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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