u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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