I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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