Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
