I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
