We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
