i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
