He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I want you more than these girls want KFC
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
vagina is talking i cant
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
